Spending time with my brother in Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas. We went to NASA and set up for the fourth. I spent 9 hours staying up with him just smoking the meat. We had a blast just sitting in the yard. Dave, Mckays neighbor spent 6 hours and close to $2000 bucks wholesale in fireworks. We were popping morters for hours. I helped Mckays youngest Sara light her first 1 1/2" morter of course she is 6 years old. Photo's don't do any of this justice, we had a blast. Much love to everyone who was there, missed it all together and/or helped me get here. Looking forward to coming back next year if possible.

my bad about the fiddle sticks golf pic twice. It was really fun though.

I can not believe it has been that long since I published. I have been real busy with work. I'm not sure if I can even state where I work online. Better safe than sorry. I'm enrolled in a 30 day CNA class and I still volunteer at the hospital. I'm really excited about school starting soon. I will try to upload a photo of me in work gear and me in CNA garb, because they are both part of my future. I am not dead as some of you may believe. I do have a line on Real medical benefits, two actually. I took a couple real long motorcycle rides, on loaner bikes and have run in with some serious motorcyclists. It's an awsome life. Free awsome coffee all day long. I saw the premier of Ironman, unfortunatly I also saw baby mama, forgetting sarah marshall, made of honor, horton hears a who, 27 dresses, hitman and speed racer. Not so good. I have made a few trips down to the pavillions car show. We are experiencing technical difficulties with the home PC and it's difficult to post from the laptop with images. I'm on an extreme budget and will be starting a new job in addition to my current position after July. Texas and Utah are still on the schedule although the days keep shifting around and I havn't got tickets yet, Stephanie is getting this trip. We are also taking a trip out to Minnisota later this year. Susan took us to fiddlesticks to play a round of miniture golf, We have a Wii so most of our spare time is bowling, golf, surgery and need for speed carbon. I mostly hang out at the book store now. I'm budgeting... love ya'll.

I never get sick. That being said. I got sick. Everyone in the house had a turn and mine finally came around. I have been really busy since then, this was at least 2 weeks ago and those that have called have got the low down on what it's like to get sick so little. Helpful knowledge for the people who get ill so little. You can not fully stiffle a cough. It's not like a sneeze you can hold in. It will come out of one of your orifices as needed. I have since recovered fully and am working as often as possible to recoup my financial situation. I have had some issues with my phone that Stephanie and Mona have worked on repairing, mucho bueno and gracias for that. I'm working on Stephanies intake manifold gasket on her 3.1 L v-6 by gmc and if the people that have had a hand in the engineering or manufacturing of this specific engine feel free to swing by so I can punch them in the neck I would appriciate it. I'm working at the bar 3 days a week, at frys as often as possible and of course my new fav STARBUCKS!!!! I'm still in training for a little while and then I will be a barista, it has been a little bit of dream of mine for a while. Free coffee...mmmmm. I will be celebrating the big 30 at Overtime Sports bar this Saturday night if you would like to swing by in Fountain Hills, of course those specific individuals from GMC stated earlier are not invited. Love you all.

Job Search 2008 is still on going. But I look good if I may say so myself. Stephanie was expecially pretty yeasterday and I had to snap this, because usually she dresses and looks like the fish tank photos. Susan got a new fish tank and it rocks, looks a million times better than the old one. It only took a day to set up and we all worked the same day. I hung some new curtains and the house is looking more like home everyday. I glad to say we all fit. Although with Stephanie pawning off her drum set it looks like I will be re-arranging everything I own once again along with selling off all the crap I have been hanging on to for way too long. A deal is a deal. And without actually touching my money she is showing me how to spend my money quite nicely. It's nice to drive a registered truck with insurance, even if I am behind a half payment. I'm going job hunting again today, so I need to head out. Today is pretty much the same thing. Begging for jobs I want and putting in for jobs I'm qualified for. Yep, I have to renew my security guard card, because it's the only guarantee I can count on. kinda. Do I sound unsure of myself? hmm. My confidence was about two crappy job interviews ago. How am I not qualified to mop a floor. Some other guy has done it longer or what? I am putting in close to 50 hours this week at the deli, so if you have had trouble reaching me, that may be a factor. Love you all. -Evan

This is an old vid, but the only one I had available to try this new feature. Turns out my little 88 buck point and shoot can take ok vid. I just had to find the software to decode the avi file. living is learning. Stay tuned litterally, now. I have had a busy week and will post those pics right after this message.

Life has a way of just happening on it's own. Things naturally happen and to think that there is some difinitive measure of control is to omit the choas that is life. I have been very busy and stuck in my sub r0utine for a while. I still work only the one job, but now have ventured out into the realm ANY job. Stephanie can see, she got her new perscription for glasses and took the oportunity to pick out some specs like mine so we can nerd it up together. I inturn tortured her with a car show and the Glendale arena, World of wheels, she was a good sport. In the ever present need for my motorcycling lifestyle, Stephanie is actually showing support for the habit. First things first, she had to learn how to drive a stick. I have had some experience with teaching this ability and I sadly lack those skills, so I handed of the education with someone with the vehicle and Aaron was slated as the professor. She did great, just like I thought she would. She was hitting third gear in no time. We went to two motorcycle dealerships in one week and she has been great, she even sat on a few bikes and found one she liked. I have been having a blast and Stephanie has been great. Doing great and getting better. By the way, Stephanie is 5'3" and the tires on that H2 are 49". I'm always going out and doing things with her, so I rarely have time to explain what is going on. I have seen a number of movies, the stand out is "there will be blood" -I drank 4 beers and it still totally sucked.

To all of my family. Listen up. I have bad news. I'm the youngest. the youngest out of all of you. For a long time that was a bad thing, now not so bad. Time is a poor judge of character for I have fallen short on my goals of financial achivement and surpassed my goals of living achivement. But alas I can not remain young just the youngest. I found my first grey hair. I never get sick, take pain medication and rarely complain of pain. The other day I had chest pain so bad I almost went to the hospital and I don't have health insurance. I know, I know, when you were my age you could bench press small cars and work endlessly, sure. For now lets settle with this. I may never act my age, I may not be getting younger. But your old and I'm not yet. Damn, two grey hairs and crows feet. I may be tempting my own fate by writing this. I used to try to talk mom into buying name brand cereal so I could save upc's and send in for prizes. Now I bought two bottles of Minute Maid Orange Juice with antioxidants to send in for the heart rate monitor...and I like the Toyota yuris. Oh, and you were not right about half of the stuff you said. If you think I wrote this to someone else your wrong. If your offended, I'm right. If your not offended, your ignorant. as I have been offended by you, which is hard to do. In the end their is only one small deviation from me to you and I love you very much, even though we don't agree on everything, I will try to listen. I have a new safe word. If I'm talking and I can't shut up, just say pippy longstalkings, it's a polite way I have developed to allow other people to explain themselfs before I correct them with my wrong observations. Remember. Pippy Longstalkings. It's my polite shutha. love you. it is now safe to call.

I had a great new year, no need to show pictures of a bar or the bar band, but it rocked out just the same. All in all I closed out the year in a good way and toasted in the new year the best way. Stephanie has some pictures from her trip from Alaska and I'm happy to be around people that treat me nicely. I'm loved. I'm glad I don't have pictures of the plain old kick'n on the couch with a cold one or working in the Deli. I apparently can not throw a ball or a dart. If I ever need these skills to impress someone, I had better start training intensely. I implanted a soft tip dart into pretty much everything but the part of the dart board that it's supposed to hit. I should have stopped at Ping Pong (also not a strong talent) Paula, I'm the one that scratched the felt on your pool table. I have my skills, I don't think any of them are related to my motor skills though. Stephanie has put together a scrap book that's pretty cool. I need to catch you up on more when I'm awake. I have pictures of my lincoln logs I'm playing with. Stop snickering.

I have had as much fun as I could, while waiting for time to pass. Susan and I have been going to the skeptical chemist, an irish pub in North Scottsdale. The Scones are an excellent cover band that play way too good for a bar and they don't seem to take anything to seriously. We sat through their whole set on Saturday night and at the last song their were four band members playing as hard and fast and talented as ever while 6 people in an empty bar bounced their heads, banged the tables and sang along with the chorus. At a few points the lead guitarist on a remote line jumped up on the table in front and rocked out some of the best solos in history. Guitaro hero may be difficult, but what these guys did looked impossible and they were not even trying. We are going back tonight for the new years party, I'm not going to show pictures for a while, but its going to be packed tonight. Stephanie is the best, I have no doubt of that. I miss her dearly and she is coming back soon. I can't wait. Susan, her mom has been awsome and we have been catching up on twightlight zone shows from the 60's. Between the Stones and Doors cover band and the black and white shows it's hard to decipher what decade it is. Work and sleep still play staring roles in my life, but purpose without baby is diminished a bit in her absence. It's nice to come home to someone that believes in you and loves you, I miss that as well. I have also seen some really good movies, mostly at home. Susan loved my recommendation on "worlds fastest indian" so we watched the documentary of "dust to glory" by Dana Brown. I don't think anyone is ready for "two lane blacktop" unless they actually have the sickness. That title is easily dispatched or coveted.

The last few days have been passing by painfully slow and incredibly fast at the same time. I enjoy sleeping, but I rarely have the opportunity. I have made no real progress towards any real career. I am learning more and falling back into my old routine as much as usual. I miss her, and enjoy my freedom one and the same. Time is an old enemy and I am getting to know that all too well. Work and play have been playing out the same battle, one winning more often than the other, but I know that the best thing for me is not always what I want. I am doing great and extremely happy with how things are and how they are going. Looking forward to the rest of this journey quite fondly. I don't think I will be showing pics, but I'm hitting up the bars tomarrow with Stephanies Mom, just to pass the time. This is actually more fun than it sounds. I went to the Christmas service on Christmas Eve and it was awsome. I'll let you know more later and as promised not everything that isn't important. I will say that Stephanie is awsome and alot of that has to do with the fact that she comes from good people.

ps I wrote these ramblings after drinking a bit and had to fix it later. I actually slurred in some of my writing and some of this doesn't make as much sense as it did last night.

I go to shoot a machine gun today. I went shooting with Hollywood and Aaron. If I'm ever attacked by a piece of paper or a small clay plate I know exactly what to do. I would show pics but Stephanie has my camera in alaska. I did get video from Hollywoods phone though stay tuned. The pavillions was dead tonight and the biggest event was a blue '67 camaro with a 427 with a sick cam and some good heads. I think I've figured out that every guy with a sick car is single, kinda makes owning one look more disinteresting.

I forgot to mention that the last picture was of Stephanie and I just above the supermarket parking lot on the 4 mile drive home. I wanted to post pics of the area, because it's so beatiful. We had to go to zoo lights at the Phoenix zoo and out of all the lights and shows and music, I found this evil un-lit bunny the coolest thing in the park. I didn't get any pictures, but Susan, Stephanies Mom and I went to "I am legend" and nachos @ four peaks brewery. It was a blast.

I am a very happy man. In this case no news is good news. I have been working and playing to much to do anything else. I couldn't even cover what all I have done in the time since I posted last, so I'll high light what my soggy brain can remember in a small string of short posts. I drug Stephanie to the Ducatti launch party in Scottsdale for the new 848 model. Notice I'm not sitting on the new model. Then christmas shopping and the 5 and diner for the biggest burger they had.

Ok Mom, I finally got that chrismas present you sent last year. All it took was Mona driving 4 hours from LA and another from Awatukee to Fountain Hills to drop it off. I cracked it open right after I got it in the Target parking lot I met Mona at. We all did some black friday shopping and went back to Stephanie's to wrap presents. It was great seeing Mona again. Max is getting in on the cuddling Stephanie and I were enjoying on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner. He will jump into my arms and lay like a baby while I rub his tummy, the coolest dog I swear. Stephanie and her mom have invited me to stay here with them in Ftn Hills. I would be a fool not to do it, but I've made bad decisions in the past. I'm really excited about going to Mckays and seeing him and his family for the holidays, but I'm having a reality attack and can't seem to make a decision at all. Which is driving everyone crazy. Susan, Stephanie's mom is really awesome and they are also Danish-ish the last name is Andersen so I'm in the clear. My manager has already scheduled me for next week and no one here really wants to see me go except...the reason. I'm really thinking to give it thirty days to see if Susan and Stephanie really want me to stay with them or just don't want to see me go. Stephanie wants to cuddle and it's her computer so......I'll let you know more when I do. I have more great photos to share and some great pics of the goodguys show Hollywood and I went to, they may be packed though so look for them next week at the earliest. two exciting options, one life changing decision.. tune in to see what happens. I know I'm on the edge of my seat. More so than next week's Heros on NBC, did I mention Susan and Stephanie Tivo that?

Hello all and welcome back to the valley of the sun. I have been busy in my own absence and it has netted me a very lucritive job in the Frys deli in Ftn. Hills. Its fun, but I'm leaving for the ever greener pastures. I would like to introduce Stephanie to ya'll, she is the only thing I'm leaving in Phoenix. Mckay has offered to put me up in Texas and help me find something more benificial. I'm moving for a change of venue based on all the sane reasons anyone in the know can tell you. I'm going to miss the weather and the simple city life, but mostly I'll miss all the opportunities that I came here for and are still sitting idle on the table. The bike thing has died down to a serious lack of funds and just in time for gas to hit $3 a gallon. Hollywood and I went to the goodguys car show this sunday and I really enjoyed the calibur of cars that hit the show. The pavillions last night was an excellent showing of what people are willing to bring to the show. I saw a Rolls Royce Silver Phantom 2007 on 24" rims next to a stock minivan next to a straight axle altered wagon with the nose high stance, there was something for everyone and the bike row was 6 deep kick stand to kick start for about an 1/8 mile, guesstimates in the 250 to 300 bikes from a '40s foot clutch, hand shift drum brake harley to the new satin and metallic ruby 2008 yzf-R1. I also spotted a limited YZF-R1LE in the crowd. While Hollywood and I were admiring one specific vehicle at the show a photo dog from a local mag was high lighting the many mods to the modernized muscle in summation he wanted my opinion of the vehicle and I simply stated that it looked like the gentleman that built it had a lonely lady somewhere. Speaking of, thats where I'm at now and I would like to get back to that which matters and that is the lady I speak of. I send more when I know more, but plans in action for lift off Dec. 1st towing all I own in a uhaul box trailer and burning the juice for the two day trip as quickly as my ipod allows. Any Phoenix friends should leave mention of web, snail and phone numbers to establish long distance relationships. Tyrone, Russ, Mike, Hollywood, Aaron, Dan this mean you. Please. -Evan

I will no longer mention the reasons and have deleted all posts to anything other than my personal reasons for things.

My computer crashed so I will updating when ever I have the opportunity. I think I finally have a line on another job. Life has been moving along nicely and to the point rather quickly. Seems like these days all run together. I made a point of taking some time to visit with old friends Aaron and his significant other Melissa. We went to see a movie at the local cinemark, War. It was horrible but we were properly prepared for that outcome, crappy movies can be better than good ones if everyone in the audience agrees and gets in on the drunken commentary. Apparently one person really liked Jason Strathom and we were throwing his stroke off so we had to giggle to ourselfs after his R rated outburst that sent the back row into remission like a kid caught in a lie, and then that was funny. We walked out the wrong door and couldn't find the truck and were instantly sober, turns out it was just parked on the other side of the lot. I have to get a back up plan started. I really appreciate all the support you have all given me and the time alone as well. I really need to reconnect with some people, but time is going to be even more elusive than ever and the reason why I have good friends is they understand me and my lack of actions. I'm currently trying to bend my mind around Robert M. Persings second book Lila. It's like a sequel to a movie, there dosn't have to be very intricate character building because most of the audience got the last one and those that don't wouldn't care past the cliff notes highlight real, but this guys talking a branch of philosophy called metaphysics that as much as I can tell is like the root of thought as much as all emotions can ultimatly be branched out further and further, but most could fit in either catagory: Love, Fear- all other emotions stem from these basics. Here is dear Phadrus on the water in a sail boat with what seems like a gazzillion index cards as he tries to break down the logic of the American Indian vs. White man vs. European influence, each capatalizing on its own stregnths and weaknesses and admiring that a is to b as b is to c and the seperation between that is not progress in either direction. its differentiation, apperently LSD and peyote have alot in common because this book should come with two hits to get you at least half way into the book. I think my lack to understand it comes from a lack of drug awareness, like reading Hunter S. Thompson, squares seem to not truely understand it and apperently I'm squarer than my round shape lets on. I'm not burning down my visa in barnes and noble anymore, I'm burning up my new Scottsdale Municipal Library card and based on the book selection, you may be hearing more from me than you want. Love you all -Evan
P.S.- I shaved my goatee in an effort to score a better job and I think it worked. I was so impressed that I cut my own hair and I like the cut so much I'm keeping it like this. High and tight feels so right. I'll post pictures some day. But the likelyhood of my computer coming back on depends if the system configure for windows start up magically restores it self. I need the Harry Potter boot disk...

I titled this pic desolation in febuary. It set the tone for the trip that reverbiated through out the 2600 mile journey that I took that week and was a moment I can still palpate in my minds eye. It was brutal cold, biting through my two shirts and niping at my naked face. The earth beyond the icy two lane twisty strech of what must be in spring time black top asphalt seemed completely untouched by mankind. This is my myspace pic, my IM pic and seems to sum up my inner fabric at this moment. I'm not taking down any more posts or editing them. I'm not ashamed of my past and can only learn from it. I'm learning more every day living in the specific situation I have built. Sometimes it's something I didn't know about myself, sometimes of man kind and sometimes just... I can not pin point such a vague thing as this, but it has had roller coaster like tendencies and the highs were not that high and the lows were so low. Jail was much better than this. I enjoyed jail though, for what it was. A vacation. Time off. A mandated monistary of mental abilitly. To remove myself from this situation mentally or physically would not do me the good it is to remain. I'm actually quite content. I can't find the line sometimes where I'm to blame or to blame others. I can only hope that time will tell and for now I can only concentrate on the person I am and the person I want to be. Morally inept people leave a vacues essence. I had a dream that I made close contact with the enemy Athena. I and Mandy used to do this thing where we would put our forheads together. Anyone who studies medicine could tell you that the mind functions by electrical impulses from the sinapse (located else where in the body) Science Fiction has insinuated that the frontal lobe is where telepathy takes place, or the possibiliy of it. I would actually percieve (self imposed) a tickle or tingle. The thought of thoughts passing was never optioned, but rather the electrical impulses or possible chemical transitions that do so. In this dream in this same odd proximity I felt my soul leave my body as this person absorbed or sucked my moral, mental and emotional self out of the vessel I have been shaping at the gym. I woke covered in sweat, gasping for air and wanting to drink like I had the past few weeks. I think it is the drink that causes my mind to travel so far from reality and vacation in the exotic. Alchol and a bad attitude is my acid. I remain steadfast in the person I am, unconvinced by this minority of any other possibility, but she is a smart woman and very aware of her dark arts. She has been trained by the best (her mother) and knows not any other ability. I feel inclined to teach her what I know, but know that like some teachers that don't know exactly the material it would be of no use. I'm not obligated. She is happy, extatic even. It's sickening how blissful someone can be at the expense of others. Her Hitler like elation permiates the apartment with a clorox smell. We exist only by completely ignoring the other. Less than you would give a common stranger, which I would enjoy so much more. I don't know what I feel, let alone why. Is it compassion....pity...hurt...fear, the root. Yes, Fear would be the easiest answer, because it satisfies all the other adjectives of fear that could be used to describe dark emotions. Fear of what she might teach me, fear of what I might glean from such a person, fear of what she could do with her abilities and wit. 2 minites with her this morning has left me in a tail spin waiting for the pool party with friends, Jason Greenwood, Nick Tubertini, John Tussing and...strangers...blissful strangers. I went to Muse a bar down the street last night and had a GEORGEOUS girl named Jessica sitting on my lap with my hand on her naked thigh, my mind flying with all the debauched thoughts appropriate for the situation, but I left alone... feeling good about myself. I don't need others to feel good about myself. (Don't get it wrong, had she got in my truck I would not have kicked her out) I enjoy the person I am when I'm alone, I enjoy who I am when I'm with people I can trust and people that can respect me. The golden rule really is golden. I suppose to a certain degree if Athena kept a blog, hers would look similar to this all my I's are hers as well. So this draw, I have lost..This loose truce we have will stand until time thickens the walls and communication without gutteral grunts and scared monkey laughs can take place. That would be the high point of anything that could become. I know I have put I on every line and I have spoken of I the whole time. I...that is what this blog is about...and I'm doing just fine. Thanks to all my friends..Thanks for the love and support of my family that have reached out like I didn't know they were capable of and helping me through a spot in my life harder than I imagined it could be as an adult. I love you, too. That is all I want to be capable of...Love. I need not hate, I have seen what hate makes of a person. -Evan Christensen

I have moved, kinda. I'm still in the state of moving some of my stuff. I really don't like moving because I'm forced to look at the crap I own as material I don't need. It gives me the chance to see the things I hang on too and ask, why is this here, why did I buy it and why do I feel the need to keep it around. I have way too many books I have already read and projects I don't have the time to complete. I'm in North Scottdale now. The side of town that people of my income bracket really stick out with. Unable to have a kitty on our own, Athena and I decided to adopt. We have picked up a satanic little kitty that seemed so well mannered at the time I couldn't see the little squirrel for who he really was. At night he sounds like a racoon in the trash can's with the noises he makes. I don't know how I feel about declawing a ferrel cat like this. I have more open wounds than Acounta-Kente from roots right now and the prosect of raising this skin shredder in the home of two people that are either thin skinned or hemophiliac is becoming obvious. I'll post pics when I get home. Athena's friend got married the other day and I don't know who is having the most trouble adjusting to that fact. I'm really enjoying the move and all the peripheral benifits of living with someone I really enjoy, but it really highlights my low points making all the work of progress I thought I had made irrellevant. I believe that every person thinks they are right regardless and I'm open to the possibility I could be wrong on occation, but based on the mistakes i have made I'm seriously wondering how much of what I do I self justify because I know I'm right or if I'm actually wrong. All my job prospects didn't pan out, so I have to come from another angle. I was offered a shot at a job I don't know if I want on accident again. The pay is great, but the liability is too high to last. Back to the drawing board. I need a laboratory of schematics to figure out the basics of life. How can there be so many books covering what should come so natural from the 1000's of years of evolution. Lifes variables are becoming increasingly differential. I'll post more when I get home so I can access my plethora of pictures because as much as I write, I couldn't possibly articulate in such a limited format how happy I am. Not only are Athena and I going out officially, we are doing well. We are very complementary and the things we have in common often are the topic of conversation. The only thing I have to work on is the things that I have. She is a wonderful woman and I feel very lucky to have the time to share with her.

I tend to live my life in one of two ways, function or non-function. I could be content with only a small amount of money, cable TV and a case of beer a day. I could make due...for a while. Then in the absence of everything the nothingness would cause me grief. I would find pleasure in anything that would keep me busy. Even my off days are usually very busy. At times I find myself on the far spectrum of function. Every minute of the day seems valuable as I try to allot the tasks of the day the proper amount of time. I seem happiest at a level that causes me some serious sleep derivation. Life rolls by like a fog and I operate in some sort of third party autonomic way. I could try to describe it but Martin Scorsese's "Bringing out the dead" (1999) does a very good job at setting the tone for the life I'm describing. The mood is a bit somber, but it did win two academy awards. What I'm talking about is the extreme tax placed on Nick Cage's character Frank Pierce. Desperately needing sleep, but with sleep comes nightmares and the knowledge that someone, somewhere is dying. One of my favorite lines is
"Oh, I see. With all the poor people of this city who wanted only to live and were viciously murdered, you have the nerve to sit here, wanting to die, and not go through with it? You make me sick! "
Life has been moving at a very fast pace and keeping up has been difficult, but I remember sitting at home and drinking beer all day and watching all the racing I could handle, giving me way too much time to think about things. Postulating on the same thing can only lead to an indefinite number of possibilities, most of which can be elected or discarded easily without affecting the outcome and in the end all you would have are thoughts. I think I remember something from the Socrates, Plato dialogues that I derived this from. A life of thinking would be only a beginning. So I choose to spend a little time thinking and as much time doing as possible. Life as I'm living it exists in the cracks of time of the things I feel obliged to do for the things I want to do. I'm moving in 2 weeks and will post pics of the place, before we move in so you can see what it looks like if we were just squatting in an abandoned North Scottsdale 2 bdrm apartment. I have seen the inside of my own dwelling less than 6 times this month, so technically the moving in part will mostly just be a convenience item where I don't have to disturb someone from their sleep so I can take a shower and rack out to go right back to work down the road. While school was in it was a major time saver and 4 miles for work isn't enough to even turn the key in the ignition at $3/gal. Athena and I are doing quite nicely, we are going out, which is an ironic term given the situation. We never get to go out anymore. She has been extremely supportive of my heavy work schedule, which leads me to believe that my abrasive personality has finely paid off. Thank you Chucky Cheese Janitor for being an inspiration, you were right all along. Seriously, I feel like my life has finally found some quality. I really don't know how to put it. We both feel strong premature feelings for each other and quitly suffer. There is no rush to name it, there is no description that could match it. It just is a very nice homginization of two self destructive individuals. It's like watching the ball drop on times square, you know there's going to be fireworks. (I've always liked fireworks, its the term novelty explosives that its associated with that I think is an irony, oh and there pretty)

I would share my complete details of grading, but for now you can settle for this. I passed. Anatomy and Physiology 202 was a lot of fun and I enjoyed it, but I did not want to take it again for the third time. Working two jobs and going to school puts school at the wrong end of my priority list so I'm changing jobs to one that is on track, that interview is tomorrow after my second 16 hour shift in a row, only to return to another. I'll take this pass, but I wont stop studying until next class which might not be until Spring 2008. I will leave it to this. The minimum grade to pass is a C, at 750 pts possible 75% is 525 pts minimum, I have copied and pasted directly from my grades my final grade in the class and I think you may find it interesting based on how important this is to me, how I did. I have a lot of self study to complete and I'm keeping everything I got from course documents on my hard drive. Like this intersting picture of histology.(the study of tissues) here is a very close look at what makes the world spin.

Total 526 /750 , one mesely little point. ONE. one point from faliure is some measure of success. I guess.
Things in every aspect of my life are moving along quite smoothly considering. I have a girl friend. I'm not single anymore. That is a big step. We have so much in common, yet find the differences on occasion. I find the rifts riveting making me more aware of things I did not know and look forward to learning more about. Thats what this is all about right, learning. My only regret now is that I am on a path that keeps me away for much of the time we could spend together in this newly forming crossroads. She supports me so much even though I can not do the same for her right now. She shows me on a regular basis that I mean something to her and she is equally interested in spending time with me and seeing where this goes. Where it's going is actually a little frightening considering the thought that she seems to be someone that I could never tire of spending more time with. She is of course, Athena and as soon as I get some new pics I will post them, we are both very busy putting together our own agendas, spending great lenths of time from each other on individual aspects of our lives. The running line is uncomfortably comfortable. Both of us constantly second guessing the nature of things based on our experiences. I don't like it when anyone touches me or talks to me for an extended period of time, I need my space to reset and ramp up, some sort of personality refractory period. When I'm with her it feels like its me time and I enjoy every bit of it. I'm very tired, I'm reminded that when someone experiences long periods of sleep deporvation at about the 72 hour mark the same hallucogenic effect of LSD can be experienced. I'm looking forward to Thursday for two reasons now. Athena and any other visions that come into view.

This is Athena and Me half smashed and finding the finer points of my digital camera. So there is this feature that will take the picture a specific amount of time after you push the button. Time is a fickle enemy of a inebriated person so here we are staring down the scope of technology and surprised to find our eyes open. The drink till your chinese pictures will not be uploaded unfortunately, but they are quit funny. To those that have heard enough of her, this is her to those that have not, too bad for you.

I finally got the windows tinted on the truck, DARK. It is really dark. I like it. You can't see anything, yes it's illegal, but in some sense that would only be appropriate for me. This horse shit really stood out on the hike so I took some liberties.

I gather knowledge from many sources, but a crown royal commercial was not meant to be so inspiring. You know the one where they slowly pour to booze over the glossy cubes of frosty in a deep round glass and speak smoothly over the sound of the liquid libation trickling and the loop reverses as the liquid defies gravity and heads up towards an unseen force. The voice over is symbolic for me. Quality, not quantity is the key that got stroked in me. Life is so very short that each day passes too quickly to do all the things needed as each day end, lists are left with a hefty tab. As we lay in bed at night and the sun light long gone from our windows stains our memories with the days unfinished business I can only hope that quality bleeds through those strained neurons in our grey matter. So if you have trouble at rest it should be the ambition that keeps the sleep away and not the mistakes we have made. Those lessons can be applied towards each days new beginning. As each day the sun will rise, a new chance to accomplish our goals is given and it is this I apply in my life. I want to do something each day to get what I want out of life, even if it is a small step. Some use lists, some our memory. The thought of the work to be done rather than the reward received is the only thing to clog our sight to the finish line will be the next step in this marathon of living this life, this day, because this night is approaching fast and will swallow this chance and be forever left another memory. Raise your glass to quality and savor the favor of that memory.

Lifes little details leave an infinite amount of room for indecision. I'm buckling in for Finals coming up the first week of May. I havn't had one call back from the 5 jobs I put in for at the hospital and should put in at my old security company for extra hours until something else comes up. I'm finally tinting the windows on the truck and hope to get the rest of the little things sorted out with that project before to long, leveling kit and one more amp should leave little room to improve for a while. I'm jamming out better than ever with 5k of songs on my ipod at instant access-THANKS DJ! I'll take some pics this weekend of any adventure that insues and maybe finally pick up the fizzer, so ya'll can see it's current condition. The Harley is still in jail and will be there for atleast a little while longer. This is the beginning of my first 16 hour day in a while and the sun is already unbearably bright. I'm nocturnal as any of you who have been privy to my phone conversations have noticed. Anatomy and Physiology is amazing and yet the only difficulty is putting all that information in my grey matter. The principals of physics are universal and the similarities I tie to auto and motorcycle mechanics are a daily observation. I think I understand things a little more clearly, but I'm not ignorant enough to truly believe I know how things work yet. There are numerous systems in the human body that fuction daily autonomicly that are mind numbing. It's little miracles serve as a definition of the value of every human life form on this ball of dirt. If everyone knew what goes on inside of their body everyday, they might cherish life a little more and squeeze more life into every minute of the day that goes by wasted. Quality however is not proportionate. Good luck on your search for Quality and not it's definition, that would be inconsequential. see Robert Persing's book "Zen and the art of Motorcycle mechanics" -Evan

I went on a real date on Saturday. I think we were both jonesing for some attention, becuase it went from a date on saturday to long phone calls, texts and lunch on friday, heading to a bar friday night and carshow/bowling combo on saturday night. I won't go into details except to say she is smart, funny and independent. I'm looking forward to spending more time with her and seeing where this is going. For now, it's great to hang around someone and just be myself without appologizing. I'll try to post a pic as soon as she let's me snap off some. Russ called me and we almost met up at the carshow, I'll catch him next week or so. Huff is coming into town to catch a game. I'm going to be busy for a while.

Here I am with she devil at the tilted kilt for the Daytona 200, I had never seen a tire change on a motorcycle before in a set race, I didn't even see how they did the chain adjustment it only took 22 seconds. the next one is of the new bike. Watch it's going to be awesome. I work with 5 MMI students, do you think I'm going to have a problem fixing this thing. Seriously at least 2 of the guys on staff have completed their training and still work in security. A&P is proving to be a formidable enemy not due to difficulty, it is simple memory, but the time. I have a exam on Thursday and will publish my scores regardless. I have to thank DJ for the time and energy he is putting into my system and wrapping my ears with the sweet noise that is music, Paula for sending me a pic of her new truck(brother approved), Eva for snapping pics of the events I miss and Mona for keeping me up to date on your life so I don't worry. I'll let everyone know how my date goes on Saturday and maybe snap a few pics, We are going to the car show and bowling, both in Scottsdale. I'll give more details if they become imperative, but she would be the first candidate I have dated for a while. -Evan

I guess I'll make this a fairly upbeat addition to the list of dark entrys. Everything is happening so fast daily information would look to subltle. I am not working 80 hours a week any more so I have way to much spare time. I have yet to find a free outlet to said time, but enjoy 8-10 hours of sleep per day vs. the previous. I have picked up a new bike and will upload pictures as it progresses. I got my FZR 600 back from the guy who bought it for a lack of payment, but havn't had the time to give it any needed attention. It's bike week in Phoenix and the air is thick with two wheel activity. There is a party everyday that seems bigger than the last. This weekend there is awsome drag races at both Speedworld and Firebird. The all pontiac races held at speedworld every year by Steve Barcak. It is the passion of this individuals personal creed of true pure pontiac power that bleeds into the event. I have been to many drag races and this is easily my favorite. The atmosphere is like a family barbeque with old freinds in the mix at an abandonded yogi bera camp ground with a 50's style diner like drag strip in the back. Cars are the stars, but the people that bring this event together and see it through don't make light of the fact that is a person first event. On sunday they open the stakes to include all muscle cars. People that come far away take their Pontiacs out to battle all comers of any make or model muscle for a wild west dual, until there is one. It's like stepping back in time 20 or 30 years to see old tin scoot down the track. Also there is a number of bike shows at pretty much every venue in town. Most notably Westworld off the 101 and Frank Loyd Wright, where Willie G. Davidson himself will recieve a life time award on Saturday. That's about 2 miles from where I'm sitting, but I'll be at the AHDRA races on Sunday for sure. Seeing all Harley Davidson powered drag bikes test the clock on the sticky tarmac of Firebird raceway.(I hope they prep for this event) The fastest harleys are in town and everyone that even holds a key is gingiling it off the ignition this weekend. Last year I met Paul Yaffe of Paul Yaffe Originals when he threw one heck of shin dig at his shop. Normally, and I have been there before, the shop is completely off limits, but for one day all the doors and gates are opened. Bikes currently in the build process or currently being built during are roped off, but you can still cut to the can right through the shop all these amazing machines are built in. Mr. Yaffe was really cool even though I was dressed in racing leathers, an obvious difference than the regular customer, with my X-11 hanging off a d ring of my back pack. We talked for a few minutes about the modications he was making to his 32 tudor sedan, no one else seemed to notice the hot rod at all. When I got a good look at his bikes I could see why. Unbelievable in both conception and execution. See his web sight. I hope to learn more about air cooled v twins this weekend, but I don't think I will be changed from my original view. Bikes are for riding, pure and simple. Chrome, paint and anything to powerful to be reliable is not my fancy. Riding should not be a side note and bike ownership, does not impress me. I swung by Black Magic Motorcycles in Mesa,AZ and was blown away by both the owner and the bikes. He spent hours with me and seemed at times caught up in the mechanics and delivery of lots of reliable horsepower. What impressed me most is he didn't even flinch when I mentioned my 883 sportster, his daily driver for all the absolutly sick bikes he builds is a sporster with 200k miles on the bottom end and a wideglide conversion. He walked me back to the machine shop section of the shop and showed me the case modifications to build a 88 cubic inch sporty motor that would tople any concept of the sportster being anything but what it was originaly intended. FAST AS HELL! I enjoy the thrill of a sports bike, but the sportster can get me further, for less and that has always been my mantra. I'm cheap and I like to go fast. Hope you all have some passion this weekend.

I sit in the darkness below the floating beams of light of the projector to the screen. In the absence I try to see what is not there against the plaster flecked cieling. I know that the lens has a powerful light behind a liquid crystal display changing the color of each specific pixel, but I am hindered by the humans eye and the brains ability to decipher only 16 frames per second, quite a bit shy of the speed of light might I say. I count the bottle caps on the table to preoccupy my mind so I don't fall asleep. 7 bottle caps, more than last night when I drank one beer and fell asleep on the couch with my contacts in. I wonder if the thoughts that creep in happen only because new thoughts arent being installed. I need new thoughts and I start school again soon. Thank the god of those that choose him, I am going crazy with insane thoughts. Women, horsepower and philosophy all that can not be defined, cornered or judged. to award one merit is only to imply indifference to another and that in itself an insane proclimation only to be rediscoverd...I must sleep as my sausage fingers fail against the keyboard and every letter typed is simply recovered by the backspace key and replaced by another..ehhh ahh ugh blah blah. stop reading this it's embarassing for you to witness my drunken yet perfectly scrawled ranting.

I really need to update this more often. I got a promotion and a raise at work so I could quit my other job. Now I work eighty hours a week at one job. The new truck just recieved a bitchin sound system. I got some of the best stuff Pioneer makes and some MB Quartz component speakers for the doors. Stereo shop guys are almost as morally bankrupt as car sales men and crack addicts. It seems that anytime someguy wants to invade my private space and put his arm around me and call me buddy he's just looking to stick it to someone. I go to one place and the guy says this brand and model rock and the model numbers don't mean quality it is what you pay pretty much. exerpt...well you have the $200 model and those are ok, but they sound like crap compared to these $600 ones. (seriously I'm replacing AC delco paper cone woofers, I know what sounds like crap and I don't think I could tell the difference between component speakers unless I was outside with the windows up) I got all my stuff on e-bay and sourced through friends and Dec. 30th my buddy Aaron and I stayed up till 3.30am freezing our asses off and we only mounted one subwoofer in the custom box that we didn't cover as it needs some modification for final fitment. my seat is locked in the bus driver position, but it vibrates like crazy. I told mo about the first headache i got that wasn't alchol related and when pressed why I didn't just turn down the volume I had to admit it was a great back massage. (even with the bass up and treble down those mb quarts titanium tweeters hit tones only dogs can hear)
The system was a bad idea finacially as it has turned my lump of cash back into paycheck to paycheck and school starts on the 17th so I wont be turning in the overtime i had been. I am down to a 4 day work week with 2 12's and 2 8's scattered through the week to make it impossible to plan anything. I also bought another engine I am piecing together for..something. I only have 6000 miles on my truck, but I got spanked going up the on ramp today by a front wheel drive cadillac from the '90s. I picked up a gen III 4.8 L for $150 minus w/p and harmonic balancer, and two holes in the pistons. thank god for e-bay. pistons w/ rods for 5.3L $60, crank to make it work $140, computer to fire the mix $90. I'm going to be out the door under a grand at this rate and have one of the most powerful trucks in the neigborhood. I got the goods I need to button this puppy up on e-bay right now, but I'm not done researching this enought to touch a bolt yet. I bought the wrong computer, chevy has the wiring harness plug in's color coded and I got the wrong one, I will need to reflash it anyway so it will be a while. I'll keep buying as money and prices allow till I have a smoker on the patio. It is so awsome to have all this racing technology trickle down the the humble production truck engine. Aluminum heads, roller rocker and lifters, cross bolted mains, long tube intake runners on a raised plenum pholnic intake with a 80mm fly by wire throttle body, coil on plug ignition(DIS). I really don't care what this goes in, its going to be mean. Until more parts come in and there are 30 hours a day, consider this project shelfed, I do have 94K left on my warrenty.

The reality of all things realized at any point can only be terrifying. The net effect of the smallest modification can hurt or help actual people. Tradgedy and attrocity is avoided by the same action that presents when it is necessary. War for example. I would never condone any war, but I would not lie down for anyone either. Die with grace, like a monk who lights his gasoline soaked cloak and dies while meditating on the message he is sending to the world in a true baptizm of fire. What a profound statement weighted on such a weak society as ours couldn't possibly carry the same message as the one I believe we are hearing. ...we've traced the call...the call is coming from inside the house!- line from a horror movie meant to inspire terror still rings as true as the taco bell in head of my belly. If we want to fight terrorism, wouldn't it be as simple as not being terrified. What are we so afraid of. A school ground bully terrorizes other children to get something, what are we giving up. What freedoms have been comprimised to terrorism that we didn't give up to the government before the war started.

I search craigslist.org, backpage.com and ebay constantly like some sort of drug induced need. The only thing more dangerous than the crap I can not afford is the crap I can. I wander the junkyards of Phoenix looking for the next dilapidated tresure only to stumble upon it and on to its successor. It is a painful game of chance that I imagine happens at any pound or even orphanage, the risk of getting people need to see saved or finding the reason people don't. Bet with the house on this one, that current sociological trends will show that even with reason twisting the wrist of the common consumer not many are jumping ship to own an alternative vehicle. I say buy that Karmen Ghia you drove in college back and spend a weekend in the back yard with a six pack and some freinds pumping new life into what was an old freind. Who knows maybe your killer tiller on wheels will motivate some young kid to stay true to what drives you. Anyone can order a ready made vehicle that is safe and dependable and it is just a car. When you work on that car, I mean put your own time and effort into it, a part of you stays with that car. Go buy a Ford Mustang and that's what you'll have. Buy a 67 fastback and rebuild it and it will be your car, what you did and how you did it. I seem at times to be a rational human being with logic and reason, but I still pet the dash board and talk to the istrument panel while I turn the ignition in frustration pleading the vehicle to start. I incourage anyone of megar means to find a new solution to the commuting conundrum. Buy a project car and learn as much about it as you can, maintain it like a relationship and it will never fail you. If you live close enough to work, for the love of everything holy walk, bike or ride a bus. No vehicle is cheaper than free transportation and after any car a 1200 dollar bike looks cheap after you factor gas and insurance. -Evan
Take a good long look at the guy you paid to fix your car, forget the bullshit words and any explaination, human nature seems to bleed out of any profession. Why is it that someone can accel in school and lose the useful tool of common since.

I feel like I can redefine burn out. I don't feel like staying home from my job, since I don't work for a living I get paid enough simply to exist., if I was complaining about my job I would be insulting the hard working people that do complicated tasks for a living including but not limited to standing or moving objects of any fasion. I am speaking of the metaphorical, "spinning my wheels". I swear the last few months have wet the road I'm on and I just sink. I don't think the means meets the ends in this paradox. The solution is ironically simple. Rather than work overtime again so I could get that new LCD, I have decided to simply be that elated the next time I see my left foot while walking. I survive this bliss, while others suffer the consequences of lustfully wanting the things they do not need. To those that know me this is a hypocritical script. -Evan

I have found a way around the ticket and will be contesting the fine, stay tuned for more. In the intrest of reducing the chance of a repeat I have parked the bike and I am driving my licenced legal and finally past emmisions truck. I put a new copper/brass radiator in it and it still overheats at speed. I will replace the fan clutch today as the thermostat and water pump are brand new, less than a week old. I also installed a $80 deck, it's all I need and plenty loud when the good songs are on. I finally pushed the anemic brick up to eighty a previously unseen speed. The sickness hasn't hit with this horse yet, it's just a good running truck and I plan to keep it that way. I have to say that my choice of transportation would mostly be constantly wrong, I seem to be attracted to the things that I sting. Rusted metal and blown motors be damned, the hot rod benieth will breath again while my wallet bleeds profussly. I think I'll change my alias to Hemoevelknievelphiliac or HEKP to my freinds. I have too much free time on my hands for a guy that works this many hours. It's kinda nice to drive a cage again. I got to drink a fountain drink with out drama and listen to the radio while I was in full recline (think coach, it's a truck).
I think I'll be moving soon and suddenly the hot rod really is a problem. Later

I just got a ticket driving to work. 55 in a construction zone in Scottsdale, technically criminal speeding considering a mandated 25 mph speed limit. I'm fighting it, I was robbed.(ignorance really is blissful) I wonder if constantly questioning authority is the breeding ground of rougely wrong thoughts. Regardless of age, we are all children and phychologically speaking respond the same way. When approched about foul behavior the first emotion is strong defiance, a seperation between self and wrong doing and even self imposed justification. This form of reason seems to serve me well, even though it has not neted much but trouble. My philosophy of suffering rather than hand my soul to the mouth of evil is visible to myself alone. Call me crazy, I'm sure many people have had similar opinions of men we now see as great. I might not be remembered post humously as someone great, but my visions are. Moses said he saw god, now he is a prophet. MLK saw the freedom of oppression, now not just a road but a holiday. I see a democratic country of choice and a government organized to guide it's citizens and not be guided by corprations and lobbiests in washington. Sure the tipping point isn't a 177 dollar ticket or even more, but I wish I could put into words my true feelings for the nation in pride and pity without offending both parties.(pro and con, not Rep. and Dem.) You can love cookies, but at some point you have to throw them out and make new ones. I want a fresh govenment with out the bloody civil war, I hope the next rigged electorial college election is a successful departure from the past. CNN's story on the possibility of Pres. Bush being an idiot was a good start, although it did end on the obligatory possitive side after presenting much to the contrary. Fight the party and the power, not the people. I think the problem could be the unity. One nation under god, is like a precurser to faliure. That would be great if everyone could agree on one way of life, whose ignorant ass thought that one up has sure got my view skewed. later preprogramed people. -Evan

Sunday night was a blissful one. I had been looking forward to going to Lost Dutchman State Park to watch a night time movie showing of Raising Arizona. Hollywood called and we decided to roll out on the bikes together. Wise in his infinite wisdom, because we sat on the bikes rather than the ground. He forgot his wallet and was out of fuel so he offered to let me drive his '06 GSX-R 750 (Suzuki) if I put gas in it. I filled both bikes for under $10 bucks. I once heard an aggresive salesman refer to the sound of a $220,00 Ferrari F550 maranello as "pure sex", it should be noted here that vehicles speed is 180 mph. If there is a $12,000 derivetive of the F550 it would be the stock lowmount exhuast new for the '06 model GSX-R, reminesent of Moto GP bikes and a throw back to Eric Buell, who has been doing it on his bikes since the early '90s. I have never imagined a machine could sound so beautiful at full song. A true instrument in every fashion, I carved up the backroads past sunset faster than ever on an inspiring mount with an engineered suspension. Parking the bikes seemed like some self imposed timeout for the road antics just commited, but the show was nice. The superstition mountains in the moonlight while every star in the sky was twinkling down through a few whispy clouds, like sugar tossed on a black canvas with the last strands of cotton candy as an after thought was a wasted romantic moment to the two dudes on their cruisers and inspired forms of debauchery for another night. On the way home hollywood concluded my assumptions, he would meet me back at the house, so I could put some air in the animal I was riding. He was riding the more sedate '06 Kawasaki 650r with it's tractor like exhaust note. I pulled the front wheel up at the on ramp of Idaho road and it touched down in second gear as the speedo clicked past sixty, short shifting for traffic. I steered to clean air with no cars on a nearly abandoned stretch of US 60 I twisted the grip in sixth and the digital speedo counted out ONE-EIGHT-THREE...it felt like 140 to me. The stupid stick struck again under the 101 loop where two DPS cars sat door to door as I rolled past a exactly 170. I thought at these speeds I would have tunnel vision and the earth would seprate, but I could see both very clearly. I sayed on the gas and prayed for an exit. Hollywood said they didn't even turn on the lights as he went by at 130, also seeking a quick exit. If a bullet were to land right next to your head and you could feel the splintered wood and percussion of the small explosion, the heat and deafning roar of the weapon you might know how I felt for the next thirty minutes. School is no cure for stupidity and wisdom comes from more than years, but I'm glad to have experianced this and encourage no one to follow me, including myself.(repetition is the definition of stupidity all else is a lesson)-Evan

I don't wish that we all lived under the banner of communism or hierarchy, but it would be nice to know who to kick in the balls. After my sixteen hour shift I went home to find a letter saying my license was suspended for FTA, faliure to appear. I knew I missed court because it was re-scheduled on the same day as final exams, I got the BS ticket in Febuary. I paid the ticket with the court fee and I still had to drive all the way to Lake Pleasant Justice Court and pick up the piece of paper saying I had paid and take it to the DMV. While I was at it I put the truck in my name and got a three day tag. I havn't slept in 27 hours and I have 14 more to go. Now I know what mona goes through. The truck overheated and rides like a marshmellow, so $200 bucks later it still wants more and I'm all dried up. I'm trying to quit smoking the hooka, the only flavors I have left burn like cough drops so this should be easy. I feel better.-Evan

The mustard seed, the water that drips into a crack to cause a fissure to split rock into when the cold comes. I can't quite put it into words, but I feel as if I am at the edge of a vast chasm and I havn't the words to describe the levity of an unknown epiphany. I feel excited without reason, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling as the sun blares through the curtins, I clasp my hand over my heart and feel it beating a path outward. If christmas was tommarrow I wouldn't notice and I can't describe why. It's like I find the truthful solution and lose it in the same instant, and before grief sets in the process is repeated. Digital euphoria. Maybe I fell into that chasm already and I'm excited to leave. Which would be better, knowing where you are or leaving for the unknown? I think it is strictly related to the fact that I havn't slept alot lately.

Life has been going really fast. I think the more you do the more time passes by. Seems like just the other day I was thinking about taking another job and now the time and the money is slipping away. I have left myself open for criticism more than once and I still feel like there is progress. I have been very lucky in the process, I have met good people and made new friends. I enjoy what I am doing. I'm getting paid to write this blog now, I am sponcered. I really like riding a newer motorcycle, the quality that this machine exudes makes me wonder what I did to the older bike to cause such a horrific mechanical decomposition. The S-10 sucked up another 200 bucks and its not over yet. I think that I might have been better off with a bicycle and a coke habit. I have been trying to keep up with everyone, please call if you miss me too. I'm going to keep all the wicked stories to myself this time, stupidity is not the best bragging point.

Somethings are always cool. Fat fendered hot rods don't have to look good to be super cool and I found one real cheap. The problem is I work 80 hours a week and the rust bucket wouldn't last long at 350 bucks. I hoped on the fizzer, my '97 FZR 600 motorcycle to get to work that Sunday morning and ended my trip sliding on my ass, 10 feet from the door. The damage was minimal thanks to the first and only time this summer I wore my leathers and boots. The impact broke off some bits, tore the stitches on my kevlar gloves and my right fore arm looks like popye's. I repaired the bike with tape and a tug on the bars to straighten them. I tweaked and tuned the bike after work and replaced the 7o dollar iridium screen on my helmet where I kissed the cement earlier, then motored down the line on my map quest sheet taking the lines that were not bold to see more scenery. Fat straight lines on a map mean transportation of the vehicle and I was looking for something a little more interesting staying on the small two lane roads at about 2 miles a minute my view became obscured with small bugs and things. I remember one particular bug of above average side meeting me nose high at ninty. Like a slow motion bullet from a Tarintino B flick I saw it arrive at its final destination pinging the helmet with quite a ring. The small prison town of Florence is beautiful and the stark contrast of federal money and what the 10 dollar an hour jobs it provides buys makes for city size buildings with a town like flair. Watching the western sky turn pink while riding the stripe next to the mountain was the highlight. From the moment I hit Tucson my experience was sureal, I drove down all the wrong streets lost and looking for some old highway. I trucked down hooker row and finally found a cop, 9 actually, parked on a park hassling some transients. For such a smallish city, Tucson seems high in crime content. I found my way to the cracked highway that dipped and swayed so bad I had to stand in the saddle to save the kids I want to have. Two turns from no where was the address I seeked, three trailers formed a U facing the steet. I arrived to find the the owner of the '51 Plymouth kissing a hornytoad for a camera and his grandkids. Taz seems like a very nice fellow and proved it in the ride in his air conditioned Cadillac by sharing a candid story about the time he picked up a hot tranny on accident. The digital speedo seemed stuck at 47 mph as we cut a straight line down the desert to find the secret location. Several harsh roads later we pulled into a small yard at the end of a trail to find a double wide with the front door open and a man peering out at his company. Darkness surrounded everything and the interior light from the car and living room created two exact locations in a lightless expanse. Taz said not to mind the giant on the porch he was harmless, but his size escaped me until I shook his hand. My hand disappeared in his as I quickly remembered my swollen forearm, keeping my smile with an uncontrolled wrinkle in it. There next to a large cactus and a flamed peterbuilt semi was the car I came for. As I inspected the find to see what work I was in for, Taz caught up with his giant by exchanging stories of equal impossibility. The car doesn't have a floor, has rusted through in many spots, one fender is badly damaged and probably not salvageable. I count the money into his hand as we set up the details of the delivery. In the distance a small mormonish family is singing church hymns in the desert, the pitch waving is seems they are walking at the same time. After business is complete and proper documentation signed the ride back to my motorcycle is swift. I shake hands with Taz and spin the motorcycle around on the stand to make a hasty exit into the distant lights dotting a line down the highway. I ride like a pony express rider high on the pegs down the country road at speed to hit the highway directly. I shoot through traffic setting the rubber band on the grip to dial in enough throttle for ninty. The orange glow of Tucson sits well behind me its scattered fractal light reflected of my shattered rearview mirrow like an inverted disco ball, the thought of fuel suddenly weighs on my mind. At these speeds I can't get more than 140 miles a tank and I'm sitting at 260, because I forgot to hit the trip last fill up. I miss the turn for gas so I pull in with the diesel trucks, flick the kill switch and do a rolling dismount to walk the bike across the sidewalk to the store and gas pumps. As I thumb the start the single occupant in the parked patrol car and I meet eyes across the slick parking lot. I pull to the pump without any extra trouble when my phone hums it's greeting. I have a confirmed hot date that is miffed about the 3 and a half hour wait, so I'm 68 miles out and 23 minutes later we ride together to the house to turn on the red light. I am still recovering from my wounds that day and that night. I haven't learned my lesson, I have another appointment to see a car for it's chassis, this could be the foundation of my next hot rod classic. I have a lot to learn, but I have all night, because it's not the only appointment I plan to keep tonight. -Evan

I think that an absence of thought is the closest thing to a vacation anyone can truely afford. Flying away from personal problems just introduces new problems in a new arena. I by most accounts don't like to take personal vacations from reality as I'm addicted to controling as much of myself as possible. That being said I'm am writing this from outside my mind and I must say that without prior knowledge things are much clearer than they should be. Dwelling on anything too long could just possibly introduce enough thought to remove common sense. I've decided on seclusion. Not giving this decision much thought, just a choice. I think I need to get to know the animal inside for a while before I meet with the beasts beyond. Please don't respond. -Evan

School is wrapping up and it couldn't have happened sooner. (with out dropping out) I bought another motorcycle yeasterday and of course it had to be just like the bike I already have and completely disassembled. The price was right and I really needed a new engine and trans. My parts collection has hit the high watermark and I have the parts to make 3 running bikes. I have identified two unknown microbes in a simulated urine sample, I did it in microbiology I don't have time for a new hobby. I think it is funny that the faculty at MCC can trust the students with live coultures of extremely pathogenic microbes, but not actual sterile urine. If you have ever smelled a broth coulture of stapholochcos aerogenus, it is way worse than any vitimin pee. consider yourself warned against both smells.

I did not have my license for a long time and was forced to ride long distances because of the poor public transit system in my city. They are building light rail into down town and they don't even have a decent bus system. I remember riding over 60 miles in one day shortly after getting out of jail for 31 days(complete lack of physical activity). I bought a new bicycle seat that day, because no amount of gel and padding was sufficient. When I wore that seat out a smaller and harder saddle was sufficient because I was officially a hard ass (in the exact sense of the word). I had to go to manditory AA and CA meetings to get free housing where the plight of drug addiction made every aspect of my life more tolerable and it was in this setting that Bob my counsler announced to everyone that my 9 month vigil and 1000's of dollars had netted me my license back. The round of applause was very similar to the admission of one year sober to a 12 year heroine addiction. That moment of time frozen in my memory makes every ache go away. Mrs. Frost the founder of EVMC that gave me more motivation and memories than I can remember of dad, died at 63 on April 8th of liver faliure. How many great people like this do we meet every day and who is to say the compacity dosn't lie in our own selfs. It is up to every individual to obtain the knowledge that greatness is not mesured in owning anything, but giving everything of yourself to others. This is the lesson she has tought me. edit. this is response to my sisters letter and is missing her point of view and inside wisdom. just remember when it is over 100 degree's outside this summer that to make anything harder you have to heat it up first. -Evan

I did not have my license for a long time and was forced to ride long distances because of the poor public transit system in my city. They are building light rail into down town and they don't even have a decent bus system. I remember riding over 60 miles in one day shortly after getting out of jail for 31 days(complete lack of physical activity). I bought a new bicycle seat that day, because no amount of gel and padding was sufficient. When I wore that seat out a smaller and harder saddle was sufficient because I was officially a hard ass (in the exact sense of the word). I had to go to manditory AA and CA meetings to get free housing where the plight of drug addiction made every aspect of my life more tolerable and it was in this setting that Bob my counsler announced to everyone that my 9 month vigil and 1000's of dollars had netted me my license back. The round of applause was very similar to the admission of one year sober to a 12 year heroine addiction. That moment of time frozen in my memory makes every ache go away. Mrs. Frost the founder of EVMC that gave me more motivation and memories than I can remember of dad, died at 63 on April 8th of liver faliure. How many great people like this do we meet every day and who is to say the compacity dosn't lie in our own selfs. It is up to every individual to obtain the knowledge that greatness is not mesured in owning anything, but giving everything of yourself to others. This is the lesson she has tought me.