I am purchasing a car. Motorcycles are just the coolest, until it rains or something. Rather than wait out for the inevidible, I have recieved a 1976 Oldsmobile Omega F85- $200 and a bicycle, not bad. Signed, sealed and delivered, I picked up the keys today. I love it. It's banana yellow with a tan interior-where there is an "interior", every piece of weather stripping has rotted out, the radio sounds pathetic. It is anemicly under powered and has a busted head light and cracked grill. It kinda smells like pee. In a word, PERFECT. Of course my mind is already in the planning stage and the trim didn't make the trip home. I am actually mixed about the funky '70s hub caps that look like cones used to make some strange cake. In the mean time, its nice just to have a B option that will fire on the first hit of the ignition and sputter to life at my will and not at the prompting of the witch doctor that has been cleansing the bike of bad spirits. I only feel a pange of guilt for removing a form of instant access from a junkie trying to kick to the crack house that spawned him. oh, well. Stay tuned to PIMP my complete piece of shit, my anti-TV reality. -Evan

I'm an e-bay whore.